I’ve been looking through this awesome body mod blog (awesomemodifications.tumblr.com) and it’s just bringing up my yearning for the various mods I want to the forefront of my mind.
My mom, after she caught me with the septum and made me take it out, tried to make me promise I wouldn’t get anything done until after college (I haven’t exactly made my modding plans a secret…) But I couldn’t. I can’t. I realize she thinks it’s this whole trend thing going on, and that’s definitely a part of it.
This whole trend for body mods now has opened doors for everybody. People feel more accepted and more normal with what they want to do in relation to body mods and it’s amazing. I can’t wait to see how our generation looks like when we’re all older: sure, we may be a bit of a messed up generation, as is the one after us, but there are some good parts as well.
Back to my original topic. I feel like crying when I think of how long I have to wait to get these body mods. I know I want them, that I need them to truly feel like myself. My mom doesn’t understand this at all. She is so obsessed with looks and how others perceive you, and the only thing that matters to her is how others view her. She’s always pointing out how unmarked her skin is, how when her friends would cut up their skin she never did and how proud of it she is now. It’s why I’ll never be able to tell her about what I’ve done to myself and why she’ll never understand why on earth I need piercings and tattoos.
I just- this is one of those moments where I really want to grow up. I know it sucks being grown up, but this one thing about it doesn’t. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, and I can’t yet because my mom is in my way.